Growing Up Means Growing Deep

My daughter’s bike was stolen the other day. It was her own fault. She'd ridden to a nearby store with a friend and failed to lock the bike. She didn't lock the bike because she doesn't have a bike lock. I'd like to tell you exactly what her emotional reaction to the event was, but I can't.

You see, I got caught up in my own emotional reaction. Now the mature response would have been to listen to my daughter’s tale as calmly as possible, then ask questions about the experience. "Did someone take it from you, or was it taken while you were in the store?" After I heard her expound on the details, I could have explored her feelings with caring, sensitive questions that helped her to look deeper inside herself.

Even before the probing I could have encouraged her to do the deeper exploring by giving her some verbal cues. "Gosh, that might have scared me," or "How hard was it for you to tell me that?" Perhaps I could have told her that it made me sad to hear that she lost something she especially enjoyed. A kinder, gentler Dad would have done any of that. I didn't.

I got so caught up in my own feelings that I just unloaded on her. "Why did you go to the drugstore anyway? It's not a recreation center. What makes you think you can just park a bike and leave it alone in a parking lot? I'm not buying you another bike! Who told you that you could ride there by yourself? I don't care if your friends' parents allow them to do that. If you're friend jumps off a bridge are you gonna follow them?"

Mature for her age, my daughter simply said, "Sorry, Dad," and walked away. When a kid is out of control it's sometimes best to walk away and catch a breather. She seemed to recognize that the child within me was not fit to be around for awhile. Could be my daughter will make a pretty good parent someday!

Have you ever found yourself so obsessed with things at the surface that you fail to miss an opportunity to go deeper within? What buttons are on your surface such that when they get pushed you don't probe within but instead fly into orbit?

I'm pretty certain God wants us to know that there's more to both who we are and whose we are than what we see, alone and together, on the surface of things. There don't seem to be many good words in the English language to describe this either. I don't find it helpful to talk about mind and body; head and heart; or even body and soul.

Maybe that's why Jesus used so many different word pictures. "Jerusalem, I long to gather you under my wings like a hen gathers her chicks." "In a little while you won't see me anymore, but I won't leave you orphans." "I don't call you servants any more, you are my friends." "I will send you another Comforter."

It's pretty clear that Jesus went out of his way to let his followers know that whatever befell them; whatever mattered to them also matters to God. And it's also pretty clear that Jesus intended one of the signs of that reality to be the way we let each other know that what matters to each of us - anyone of us - matters to all of us. That means being ready, willing and able to let go of obsessions about the surface of things and being ready, willing and able to go deeper - with and for ourselves - with and for each other.

From my experience, that seems to be something kids know and do. "Unless you become like little children..." This isn't the time to say, Everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten. But maybe that's not such a bad place to start!

What do we lose for ourselves and for each other when we let the seasons and years chip away at our ability to be thrilled, enthused, and open to new people and experiences? What does the world lose when we let events push us around like so many characters in episodes of a soap opera? What does God lose when we decide to decide for ourselves who we are and whose we are?

The Spirit of God, whose outpouring, abiding presence, and power to groan prayers deep within us, calls and gathers us into the future Jesus promised. And grace sets us free to let go of things on the surface that keep us from making the journey. What say we go together? Tag - you're IT!